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Melissa, You will continue to be in our thoughts and prayers as time goes on. Your story has inspired and will continue to inspire many people in the days, weeks and months to come. My mother is a survivor, I am so blessed. I am even more blessed to have been able to read about your struggle and your mom. It gives me many ideas to help my mother preserve some of her thoughts as she grows older and also of things we can do to help my mother-in-law as she struggles with Alzeheimer's.
May God bless you and keep you, surrounding you and your family with comfort and grace.
Early Saturday morning my mom passed away after being in a coma for about 18 hours. It wasn't supposed to be like that. I wanted her to pass away in her sleep, but it didn't end that way. It was a horrible and anguishing wait for her to let go. Her body was gone but her brain stem struggled to breathe for hours.I hated every minute of it. We kept telling her to go. Finally we all went to bed at midnight when we though she shouldn't have made past the morning and she passed away about an hour and a half later. The hospice people called the funeral home and they came very fast and were amazing. They treated her with dignity and respect. I said my final goodbye while my husband followed her out and came back with tears in his eyes. I took a valium and tried not to throw it up. I just wanted to sleep. Thankfully I curled up in bed with my husband and just fell asleep.
I am happy that she isn't suffering anymore but utterly devistated that the coolest mom in the world is gone to that f-ing cancer. She just turned 59 and was retired with a nice amount of money to travel the world like she loved to do. I've really learned that things in this world just don't matter, it all comes down to who you surround yourself with. We had a great 3 1/2 weeks of friends and some family hanging out at the house. I learned to play poker, watched movies, had Thanksgiving, Halloween, gossiped about people we really didn't like(yeah, I know, not so nice, but it felt good!).
What made me really sad is that my mom told her best friend that if it hadn't been for my sister and I being around, that she would have ended her life about a month ago to escape the horrible pain. I wish she would have told us because I would have supported her decision to end her own life. The pain was unbearable. No one should ever have to suffer thorugh that, but she did it for her daughters. Most of us know that we would die for our children and in this case I would have let her die and not been bitter.
I want to thank those of you who sent my mom cards. I also appreciate the thought of those who would like to send me cards, but I think that it's more important that we all make cards or encouragement and support for those who have breast cancer and their families instead. I want them to feel the love of total strangers and know that we as women support the fight of this crappy disease. Make them fun and light hearted. My mom got the best laughs out of funny cards than the more serious ones. At a time like that, you need some good humor.
I'm going to do a walk next year with a group or friends and family. We're looking to do a 3 day and we'll be training now to complete it. I'm doing for me, my daughter, my mom and anyone with boobs. I encourage everyone to try a walk at some point. This will be my first, but I bet it won't be the last.
Now off to see how that pretty yellow Valium goes down with a swig of wine! I'm ok in the day time, but I get very agitated and irritable at night and I'm not a gem to be around. Plus the bonus of extra sleep from it doesn't hurt
Just gettng ready to call it a night and saw your message. Melissa please accept my sincere condolences on the loss of your mother. She sounds like a strong, vibrant woman who succumbed to this horrible disease. May you find some measure of peace now that her suffering has ended! I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers!
{{HUGS}} I experienced this with my dad just this past May and I totally understand how you feel and what you experienced. Believe me, the end will fade and the great memories will replace it.
What a heart wrenching story, but very inspiring. You will have wonderful memories of your Mom to remember and will always feel that you were there for her. God Bless you and your family in this sad time, but your Mom is in a better place and looking down on you with great love. Sorry I am so late with this ,but have not been on the site for a long time.
Melissa , I sit here writing this with tears in my eyes. You and your family have my deepest condolences. You struggle has been a long and difficult one. But I know that eventually you will look back on these last few weeks and remember all the wonderful times you had with your mom and not so much about her suffering.
Melissa:
My heart hurts for you and your family. Somebody once told me that nobody said life would be easy - that sure as heck weren't kidding. You all are in my thoughts and prayers. God bless you all.
Thank you, Melissa, for letting us all be a part of your family at this sad time in your life. Your stories about your mom, was inspiring to me! You have some pretty big shoes to fill now, don't you. I think you will be able to do it, your Mom gave you all knowledge that you will need to do it. Please remember her how she was before she got cancer, she would not want you or your family to remember her as she was in the final 3 1/2 weeks of her life. May you feel God's loving arms around you as you go thru this difficult time. Mary
Melissa,
No matter how many here offer their thoughts and prayers, I'll bet that there are many more who haven't done so yet. May it provide some comfort to know that many, many people care and wish you and your family some peace now that your Mother has passed.
Take good care of yourself in the coming weeks. We're here when you need support!
Blessings,
-Darlene
Melissa, I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad you got to enjoy these last few weeks with your mom as you seemed to have had some good times. Sending you big hugs...
__________________ I'm a natural blonde. God just dyed my hair brown. -me My Blog
My mom died 2.5 years ago from breast cancer. I wasn't ready for her to go, I was only 32 at the time and felt I still needed my mother. It wasn't fair, I thought, to have to be without her and for her to go so young [67] without being able to enjoy the fruits of her working life. Our relationship was just getting to be really great- I was solidly on my own and she was mellowing out a bit. I was angry that she was going to die. She'll never see my wedding day or kids if I have any or any of those other milestones I thought she should be there for...
I realize now, though, that spirit triumphs over body. There is not a day that goes by that I don't feel her with me. It's amazing. She won't miss a thing in my life, and soon enough we'll be together again. I learned it takes courage to go on here on earth after someone we love has gone onto the next phase. I've grown so much since she left earth and I do not feel alone. If I ever feel distant from her, I think about her and talk to her in my mind. I also have a renewed sense of purpose for the time I have left here.
It sounds like you and your mom are well grounded, strong people with a real zest for life in all it's ups and downs. I hope you find the peace that I eventually did. I sometimes still get angry or sad but then I'm reminded that this too, shall pass and I try to make the most of the moment I'm living now.
Melissa---I havent been on Splitcoast a lot recently...just popped on tonight to get a little break from life ........
I just spent the last half hour reading this thread.............laughing, crying and marveling at how strong and amazing both you and your mother are.
You have reminded me that nothing really matters in this life but the people we are surrounded by............you are blessed to have had a mom who obviously knew this.
My deepest condolences to you.........you are in my prayers.
I just called my mom and she loves the boob cookie idea. We are going to call the bags everyone's 'departing gift'. She likes that too. My husband is all over the boob making idea. He likes to bake so he will be in charge of that. And since there are pumpkin spice Hershey's kisses this time of year, the color will be perfect. We're only giving one cookie each to represent what my mom has left!!
I know so of you will just be shaking your head in disgust, but we are having a good time with this. What else can you do?
I think it's wonderful - not shaking my head in disgust at all - but high-fiving ya virtually!
Okay - guess I should've read to the end before posting. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I am glad that her pain is relieved. May your find comfort from those wonderful memories of all your time together and her incredible strength during the last days and weeks.
__________________
Julie in Indy
Last edited by Julie in Indy; 11-11-2009 at 02:34 AM..
